Freckles, Glasses, and Whiskers

I was told to write a list of the things I want, in order to make me happy. Here goes…

1. To be married to Colin already.
-In a white dress
-In front of our family
-Someplace beautiful… destination wedding, you are looking more and more feasible. 
-I want the day we get married to be happy, simple, loving and celebratory. I want to go to sleep smiling.

2. Finish school. I do not know where, but I do know where not. Not Texas.

3. Get a dog.

4. To be able to go home for dinner/laundry/a hug/whatever, whenever I want to. Being away from my mom has been incredibly difficult. I cannot imagine this being something that lasts forever.

5. To stop having people I love die. This one will never be real, but the list didn’t ask for real, just want I need.

6. To be skinnier. This one is a work in progress. And the progress is actually starting to see results.

7. To wake up in 20 years, still next to Colin, and be content, financially sound, have kids, a home, and to be in a job where I wake up excited to go to.

iPhone 4 is pretty badass. Up until yesterday I had never owned a smart phone. I felt there was no need (and honestly, still do) but deciding to get a phone plan with Colin, and his need to keep his iPhone made me get one for myself. And I must admit, its pretty damn cool.

Now I can be part of “that” crowd. The ones who have the nice little Apple “dunnanaahhh” when a text message arrives, the ones who can say “Hold on, let me look that up” when someone has a question during lunch. Yep, thats me now.

(I am also the reason capitalism is flourishing, and the reason why many relationships break up due to the fact that one or both partners feel neglected due to over-use of cell phones.) Oh well :)

Why come to class, sit for an hour, look at the board while there is a grammar lecture going on and then not listen. Then, come into my office and bitch because you failed your grammar quiz. Hm?
Just because you are on the football team does not mean I am going to give you C and send you on your way. Sorry. I wasn’t born in Texas and don’t believe that if you play football you are a god.
I’m from Washington; where people actually work for their grades. I will have a full time job with health insurance in 5 years, you will be living at home working at The Dollar Store part time.

FREAKING LISTEN.

As much as I am enjoying my early twenties, I am not enjoying losing grandparents. Part of getting older is that everyone else does too. And, at a certain point, your elders begin to die.
I have one left. My dads mom. And although she has not really been a grandmother to me, it doesn’t make her dying any less difficult than the others. She had breast cancer a few years ago, went into remission, and last month was diagnosed again, this time she is terminal. It is partially her fault. You don’t have constant back pains for a year and not go and get it checked out. You also don’t stop taking care of yourself, even if your significant partner dies. But apparently, she did. And now, at 24, I am finally getting a change to get to know her. She moved back over to the West Side to a retirement home so she would be closer to family, and once a week I call and we talk. It’s the most contact I have had with her since I was 12, before she moved to Eastern WA. Why is it that I finally get a chance to form a bond with someone I love again, and then, they die? Do I need to start calling everyone I know consistently in case they pass away next week? 

I know part of life is death, but man, I didn’t realize how hard this part was going to be.

Really? Yes, really. I woke up in Lubbock this morning to about 3 inches on my car. It apparently poured snow last night. Weird. It is now about 45 degrees outside and sunny. It must have been a fluke.

It may be sick, but I love this movie. I think its the Hanks/Ryan duo. Sleepless in Seattle is also a favorite. I could watch it over and over again and never get bored.

I also love my home and my fiance. And the bad ass new Canon Power Shot we got to document our lives.

On another note. I have been feeling horrible about myself lately. I feel fat and ugly almost everyday. Not just the normal having a bad day girl stuff, but honestly I do not like myself. I have been doing a lot of yoga lately, not just for a workout, but to also get back into me. Yoga is so good for the soul, and for getting to know your body better. The problem is, I still don’t feel better. Any help? What can I do to love my body again? I have a handsome guy who cannot get enough of me, why isn’t that making me feel wonderful?

I think the person who said this lived alone. 

I don’t even remember why I am mad anymore, all I know is that he did something to piss me off and now I am wide awake steaming over it while he sleeps quite nicely in bed. Which only makes me more angry.  

The things I learned on Facebook today:

1. A college friend of mine that I at one time let give me a bikini wax has privatized her page from me so I can’t see any of it.

2. An ex-boyfriend whom I thought would always be a little more than just an ex, really doesn’t feel the same way.

3. Deleting people from your “friends” list really feels as good as one might think.

4. Colin’s dad reads my comments on his son’s wall, and concurs with my statement that Colin is wonderful; but thinks that I am too.

I hate that I care how I look via Facebook, but love that people from my past can find me, catch me up on their lives, and tell me how they knew I was always destined for something great.

Agreed. 

(Source: blua, via selectivelight)

That is me, in my office, looking like I am studying. I do not put my hand to my chin and look determined when I study. I am usually laying in bed with my glasses and sweats on, in a half -terror half-bored state of mind.

However, I felt it necessary to show off my office digs, and, how else to do this then fake studying while IN my office!